The goose is getting fat. Well, the turkey. Oh, you get the gist! That can only mean one thing: the dreaded Christmas office party looms. Don’t fancy it? Who could blame you. But worry not…
Maybe you are secretly thinking of changing your job in the New Year? You’re bored, frustrated and woefully underpaid in your current job, and the prospect of finding something much better through Appointments Bi-Language is simply too tempting to resist?
Of course it is. But what if at this year’s Christmas office shindig, over mulled wine and mince pies, you are suddenly put on the spot by the CEO or HR Manager and asked if you are ‘happy at the firm’? If you’re ‘enjoying being part of such a great team’? Or worse: If you’re ‘excited about the planned project for January’?
Yikes!
The CEO might notice your hesitation. The HR manager might sense that you’re perhaps hatching a cunning (exit) plan, and sack you by text on Christmas morning (with no prospect of a reference ever materialising, let alone your last pay packet).
Appointments Bi-Language to the Rescue!
The key to avoiding all that is to become the last person anyone would want to talk to at this year’s Christmas do. Simple.
Seven invaluable tips on how to do this:
1. Avoid finding out where the party is, when to arrive and how to get there
2. When you do eventually arrive, stroll in casually, look at the buffet table (a beautiful, seasonal table, groaning with food) and say, “Sorry I’m late, everyone – getting out of the Pizza Express car park just now was murder.”
3. Dress inappropriately (preferably all in beige). If your company has chosen a fancy dress theme, make no effort. Don’t get involved. Don’t support it
4. While others eagerly tuck into the food, ask for a cup of weak tea and a small plate of cress
5. Talk about trains, or physics, or tank top knitting patterns as much as possible. Avoid finding any common ground with other attendees. If you really want to end up standing on your own (your ultimate goal) bang on about religion and politics – this always works a treat
6. Do your best not to get involved in any hilarity, jolly japes, horseplay, tomfoolery or buffoonery throughout. If you find a lively conversation going on, for pity’s sake don’t dilly dally or shilly shally, walk away immediately. NEVER join in
7. As your colleagues gradually get sloshed and start dancing to a lively Christmas CD, ask for another cup of weak tea and if “anyone has, perchance, heard the evening’s shipping forecast on the wireless?” (This one is guaranteed to leave you sitting alone in the corner while everyone else has a rip-roaring time doing the conga)
Quietly slip out (awkward questions completely avoided, and your masterplan intact), and then as you ding dong merrily towards your car, congratulate yourself on a job well done.
At home, crack open a bottle of Sauvignon Blanc, flick on your computer and take a look around the Appointments Bi-Language website. Be delighted, nay, uplifted by the great jobs on offer there from the leading bilingual and multilingual recruitment agency in the country – well paid, exciting jobs available through our:
And also in:
- Sales
- Customer Services
- Language Tutoring
- And more
All that’s left now is to wish you a Merry Christmas and a Happy (life-changing) New Year!
See you then.
E-mail address for Candidates – info@appointmentsbilanguage.co.uk
